Le blog de gikkercion

Mardi 29 septembre 2009 2 29 /09 /Sep /2009 03:02

Good bye

This is my goodbye. Good bye to all the good friends I've made on here. Good by to all those people who've cared. Thank you for caring, you got me this far.

I've screwed up my life beyond compare. There's no turning back now. I've lost both my loves. My baby, you knwo who you are, I love beyond compare. I've lost you too. I'm sorry.

I want to say I'm sorry to my wife also. You never deserved me.

And I want to apologize to my kids and most especially my grandkids. Don't ever think this is the way out, it's the coward's way out. Don't ever contemplate following in my footsteps.

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Lundi 28 septembre 2009 1 28 /09 /Sep /2009 04:00

a random thought this morning

On my way to work, during my 90 second commute, I was pondering the trend in movies and books that pits humanity against various external foes or enemies; aliens, demons, etc. And I just have to say that what struck me was the way we, as a global culture and society, seem to absolutely love those good versus evil scenarios with humanity as the underdog good guys, persecuted and executed by random bad guys, usually completely different life forms...and when I look around at the lifestyle of destruction we all live in, I noticed that I don't see any external bad guys...I only see us, destroying ourselves.

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Lundi 28 septembre 2009 1 28 /09 /Sep /2009 02:56

Comfort Zone

Sometimes it is good to break out of a comfort zone, just to see what we are capable. For most, I think there is a lot of variance between truly dangerous and what is comfortable. If we do not explore this variance, we quit growing.

Last night, I stepped out of mine. I did it. Logically, I knew I had nothing to fear, but tell that to the little conservative in me who still secretly believes in the 1950s family. I took my tattoo/piercing question to an expert - a guy who has been doing piercings for about 16 years. I had a piercing done. I don't regret a second of it. I'd do it again.

Here is the thing.

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Samedi 26 septembre 2009 6 26 /09 /Sep /2009 15:05

More ramblings

Today has been relatively low key I guess. I woke up this morning and studied a bit for my final, then took the test at 1:30. I think I did okay, though there were two questions I just didn't know the answer to. I've spent most of the rest of the day studying.

I'm still worried about the same friend as yesterday. I've been debating all day on whether or not to send him an email asking if he's okay. If he is okay, a part of me wants to ask him why he's been ignoring me. I keep telling myself its just the internet, but internet or not hes someone I talk to quite often, and as such Its weird to not talk.

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Vendredi 25 septembre 2009 5 25 /09 /Sep /2009 23:42

Tadayoshi CBL

(May 6, 2009)

Hi... Im Tadayoshi Yamada... 14 years old...
If your wondering what is CBL (After my name), it means
"Cannot Be Loved"
Im just an ordinary person,
who wants to be happy
who wants to cared
who wants to be with someone....

But I think all of these are being ripped from me...
I dont know what are the perfect words for me to use,
but all i know is I Cannot Be Loved...

I know that this is quite dramatic for you,...
Im sorry for being...
But, this is me...

Today I started this blog,
For me to be open to someone,...
Even that someone is i clearly dont know.

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